The Inexorable March Of Time
Warning: I suspect this post is going to take the form of a long, wheezy whinge.
It's my birthday today. I probably should have told more people that. I swear I was planning on organising something, some minor celebration of my increasing decrepitude. However, I've just come to the end of what I've been describing (to anyone who'll listen) as a 'rather bad week'. In fact, the last week hasn't been particularly unpleasant. My mood has just been incredibly volatile, for various reasons. There are bad things in my life, but they're not that bad, and there are great things, which are occasionally modified in the negative by circumstance. My mood tends to abruptly change (go the split infinitive) when the good stuff grimly turns gloomy, or the bad stuff briefly seems brighter (go the alliteration).
It's my birthday,
Go outside day,
Sit in park day,
What a pathetic day!
Blur, 'Birthday'
Crap song, that. However, it's about a crap thing, so I suppose the overall feeling of crap-crap-crappiness is appropriate. Was left feeling ineffably disappointed by the presents I received from my family. They made me feel like they don't know me. My mother bought me an Ian Rankin 'Rebus' crime novel, when I'm sure she knows I usually dislike crime fiction (she, incidentally, loves Inspector Rebus). My sister bought me Beck's Mutations album. I don't usually like Beck much, and there are many other better things she could have got me had she thought a little harder. She does, however, have another gift for me which is locked in the house she's currently housesitting at - the silly bint left the keys inside when she left yesterday. I hope it's good - of all people I thought I could rely on her to know my taste. My father bought me a collection of fantastic tales from the nineteenth century edited by the great Italo Calvino. Should be a good read, but again it felt like something he would like rather than something I would like. I must adapt myself too much around all these people, because it felt as if the presents I was getting were all just things they would have liked to have themselves. Don't I have an identity of my own, for goodness' sake? Whinge, blah, whinge. Actually, I liked all my gifts. I just had higher hopes when I saw a small pile of wrapped books and CDs.
One good thing I got is a black t-shirt with a print of a geisha wearing headphones located in a skewed position under the left arm. Very hip, I'm wearing it at the moment. Aargh, I'm twenty-four: that's so damned old! Get over it, moron.
Ecch. Throat hurts. Stupid god-damned tonsilitis.
I'm currently sitting in UCC, with a bunch of people who don't know it's my birthday, and one (Nicole) who probably does if she thinks of it. For some reason, I can't bring myself to mention it to them. I think this inhibition stems partly from a desire to avoid embarrassing them. To all my friends - I do like you, I just have no ability to organise social events, particularly ones in my honour. Undoubtedly it's because my tendency to temporarily (or even permanently) despise random people makes me think they also probably despise me half the time.
A bit later on now, and I'm feeling cheerier. Kieron's campaign had an enjoyable session this afternoon. Of late I haven't liked roleplaying much. I find a lot of the storylines quite hackneyed, I don't have any sense of interacting with a credible imaginary world, and to boot my relations with some of the other players often seem a little strained, because I tend to play annoying characters, being, y'know, a naturally annoying person. Things were better today.
Politics
I support the left, but I'm leaning to the right,
I support the left, but I'm leaning, leaning to the right!
Hey now baby, get into my big black car,
I want to just show you, what my politics are!
Cream, 'Politician'
Ecch. Throat hurts.
These days I hate listening to people discussing politics. I went to the Guild General Meeting, at least for a while. It provided many sterling opportunities for cynicism, even during the brief period I was there. Under debate were a number of leftist motions relating to the Guild's political position on world issues. I was going to discuss point by point the way things went ahead, but I'm finding I can't be bothered and can't remember properly anyway. It worries me slightly that most of the people I know are very uninterested in politics, since this country is currently going down the tubes. It worries me even more that the Guild GM was the most meaningful forum at university at which I have seen any of these issues discussed, and it was attended by one hundred people (out of a student population of twelve thousand) and consisted mostly of meaningless procedural crap. The world's going to hell in a handbasket and most people just don't care. I used to think I did, maybe for a while I actually did care. These days I'm just a passive observer though.
Whinge, blah, whinge. Oh well, accentuate the positive. I was so sure I wasn't going to angst tediously on this page. Just shows you.
Warning: I suspect this post is going to take the form of a long, wheezy whinge.
It's my birthday today. I probably should have told more people that. I swear I was planning on organising something, some minor celebration of my increasing decrepitude. However, I've just come to the end of what I've been describing (to anyone who'll listen) as a 'rather bad week'. In fact, the last week hasn't been particularly unpleasant. My mood has just been incredibly volatile, for various reasons. There are bad things in my life, but they're not that bad, and there are great things, which are occasionally modified in the negative by circumstance. My mood tends to abruptly change (go the split infinitive) when the good stuff grimly turns gloomy, or the bad stuff briefly seems brighter (go the alliteration).
It's my birthday,
Go outside day,
Sit in park day,
What a pathetic day!
Blur, 'Birthday'
Crap song, that. However, it's about a crap thing, so I suppose the overall feeling of crap-crap-crappiness is appropriate. Was left feeling ineffably disappointed by the presents I received from my family. They made me feel like they don't know me. My mother bought me an Ian Rankin 'Rebus' crime novel, when I'm sure she knows I usually dislike crime fiction (she, incidentally, loves Inspector Rebus). My sister bought me Beck's Mutations album. I don't usually like Beck much, and there are many other better things she could have got me had she thought a little harder. She does, however, have another gift for me which is locked in the house she's currently housesitting at - the silly bint left the keys inside when she left yesterday. I hope it's good - of all people I thought I could rely on her to know my taste. My father bought me a collection of fantastic tales from the nineteenth century edited by the great Italo Calvino. Should be a good read, but again it felt like something he would like rather than something I would like. I must adapt myself too much around all these people, because it felt as if the presents I was getting were all just things they would have liked to have themselves. Don't I have an identity of my own, for goodness' sake? Whinge, blah, whinge. Actually, I liked all my gifts. I just had higher hopes when I saw a small pile of wrapped books and CDs.
One good thing I got is a black t-shirt with a print of a geisha wearing headphones located in a skewed position under the left arm. Very hip, I'm wearing it at the moment. Aargh, I'm twenty-four: that's so damned old! Get over it, moron.
Ecch. Throat hurts. Stupid god-damned tonsilitis.
I'm currently sitting in UCC, with a bunch of people who don't know it's my birthday, and one (Nicole) who probably does if she thinks of it. For some reason, I can't bring myself to mention it to them. I think this inhibition stems partly from a desire to avoid embarrassing them. To all my friends - I do like you, I just have no ability to organise social events, particularly ones in my honour. Undoubtedly it's because my tendency to temporarily (or even permanently) despise random people makes me think they also probably despise me half the time.
A bit later on now, and I'm feeling cheerier. Kieron's campaign had an enjoyable session this afternoon. Of late I haven't liked roleplaying much. I find a lot of the storylines quite hackneyed, I don't have any sense of interacting with a credible imaginary world, and to boot my relations with some of the other players often seem a little strained, because I tend to play annoying characters, being, y'know, a naturally annoying person. Things were better today.
Politics
I support the left, but I'm leaning to the right,
I support the left, but I'm leaning, leaning to the right!
Hey now baby, get into my big black car,
I want to just show you, what my politics are!
Cream, 'Politician'
Ecch. Throat hurts.
These days I hate listening to people discussing politics. I went to the Guild General Meeting, at least for a while. It provided many sterling opportunities for cynicism, even during the brief period I was there. Under debate were a number of leftist motions relating to the Guild's political position on world issues. I was going to discuss point by point the way things went ahead, but I'm finding I can't be bothered and can't remember properly anyway. It worries me slightly that most of the people I know are very uninterested in politics, since this country is currently going down the tubes. It worries me even more that the Guild GM was the most meaningful forum at university at which I have seen any of these issues discussed, and it was attended by one hundred people (out of a student population of twelve thousand) and consisted mostly of meaningless procedural crap. The world's going to hell in a handbasket and most people just don't care. I used to think I did, maybe for a while I actually did care. These days I'm just a passive observer though.
Whinge, blah, whinge. Oh well, accentuate the positive. I was so sure I wasn't going to angst tediously on this page. Just shows you.
